Definition of a Relationship : Basic things you must know

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Relationship can be simply put as the feeling that people have among one another or two people have between each other because of their interests in each other that makes them come together either for romantic purposes, friendship or others.

For many, relationships comprises of the most meaningful aspect of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The need for human connection appears to be innate, but the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins at childhood, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating with others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological and mental anguish. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships endure and flourish.

Relationships that are built are supposed to be established on a basis of different things like Trust, Love, Interest, etc. Am going to be sharing with you some types of relationships mostly what they are based or founded on. 

• Relationships based on Forgiveness:

How you deal with your partner when conflict arises matters a lot. 

In this modern world, misunderstandings are not the problem in a relationship; how you deal with them is the issue.

A strong and healthy relationship can never ever be void of conflicts because in the process of building an healthy relationship with others, conflict must arise. 

According to Daniel Wilde, "Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems.” There is no partner whom you will not fight with, get annoyed at and complain about. Indeed, fighting is good. Research shows that couples who do not have any kind of conflict three years into the marriage has an unhealthy relationship.

Successful couples focus their attention on solving the issues rather than attacking the other person. Also, when they resolve the matter, they forgive and forget.

Also read at:Aalookachaaloo's Blog

Unhealthy relationships are characterized by poor conflict resolution skills.

Do you stay angry with your spouse after you have fought? Do you hold grudges long after you have had misunderstandings? Do you ignore essential issues by sweeping them under the rug? Or do you freeze emotionally and shut down when your spouse has wronged you?

The need to reestablish the emotional connection between you and your spouse and to the desire to restore security in your relationship must override your hurt feelings.

Holding grudges in a relationship will only elongate the quarrel or argument mostly if it is between couples, it will surely break their marriage.

• Relationships based on Exciting Adventures:

Boredom can be a massive obstacle to a lasting relationship. After a period of marriage, it is easy for couples to get into these grey areas where everything is repetitive, predictable, uninteresting and boring.

Research shows that couples who enjoy the most intense love are those who enjoy participating in new or challenging activities together. New activities are arousing, which your brain can misinterpret as an attraction to your partner; and reignite the original spark. Seeking adventure is an excellent way to shake it up.

What to do if you feel bored in your relationship?

A study revealed that couples are happier with their relationship after taking part in exciting activities.
Just in case you dont know the meaning of relationship means, scroll up and I read the Relationship Definition I gave there. 

New experiences have been found to activate the brains reward system. Novelty floods the brain with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same hormones that are released during the early days of romantic love. Doing exciting things together will bring back the excitement you felt on your first date.

• Relationships based/built on Intimacy:

Marriage therapists indicate that a couple who are unhappy with their sex life will strain in their relationship and could even be headed to a split.

Sex is essential in cultivating a thriving relationship.

And it gets even more interesting: the more you have sex, the more you want it. The opposite is also true; the less you have sex, the less you want it, and the less you feel connected to your spouse.

Sex boosts the chemical of love. During sex, oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is referred to as the bonding hormone. Very happy couples have sex on average 74 times a year.

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What if you aren’t having lots of sex in your relationship?

If you are worried that you are not having enough sex, you will be pleased to know that intimacy is not all about sex. Oxytocin is released when touching, holding hands, cuddling and during extended loving eyes contact. Research shows that a man’s’ oxytocin levels go up by 500 percent after making love.

• Relationships that are based on Trust:

Trust is the most important predictor of long-term relationship success. A relationship will not be strong if there is no trust between the partners.

Is your partner dependable and reliable? Can you count on them?

What about you to your partner? Are you trustworthy? Do you hide purchases? Do you have online relationships that your partner is not aware of? Are you hiding your true feelings from your partner?

Couples in strong relationships never keep secrets from each other.

What if you have little secrets in your relationship?

Do not be paranoid. Do not focus on the small things where your partner has not been completely honest.

Instead, focus on the big things: Maybe he told you he is a lawyer only to discover later he never passed the bar! Or she said she loves children but later on insists that she would never want to have one.

If you have no belief and trust in your partner, they will never believe in themselves!

• Relationships based on Interests and Similarities:

For a long-lasting healthy relationship, the more the similarity, the better. Partners should especially be secure that their values and goals match before they embark on a relationship.

A 2009 research study revealed that happier couples have the most similar personalities.

All the couples indicated one thing: opposites attract in the movies, but they do not make great marriage partners.

Evidence suggests that people like dissimilar partners more and find them more stimulating but only when the relationships are short term.

For long-term relationships, greater similarity translates into more staying power of the relationship.

What if you aren’t sure about your relationship goals?

Common goals work together make your lives together work in harmony.

What are your goals as a couple? Do you want to start a family together? Are you planning to own a house? How many children do you want? These kinds of common goals will help to strengthen your relationship.

If you ever find that in your mind, intentionally or subconsciously, you do not want your partner to participate in your plans, it is a sign that it is time for you to move on.

• Relationships based on Shared Vulnerability:

Many people in the world are scared of falling in love and getting into a relationship with someone.

But here's the thing: many people want relationships, but they are so scared of opening up and being hurt.

People fear vulnerability as a result of rejection from others. 

There is the fear that if someone finds that we are not as perfect, intelligent or strong as we appear to be, they will no longer like us.

Unfortunately, we cannot build healthy relationships without vulnerability. Vulnerability is the secret to a strong connection. To know that someone loves you for who you are and to love someone else in all their vulnerability is one of life’s most fulfilling experiences.

The fear of vulnerability is a self-destructive trait. Your fear of vulnerability will prevent you from being totally engaged in the relationship.

Do you fear to expose some parts of your personality that you think your partner may find unacceptable?

Does keeping your distance from your partner make you feel safe and in control?

Are you embarrassed about exposing your true feelings and discussing difficult topics?

It takes tremendous strength, character, and self-confidence to be vulnerable. A genuine partner will respect you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is very attractive. Honest people are drawn to people who are really authentic and imperfect.

A lasting relationship is what you make not hope to come. 

The biggest killer of relationships is the comparison with those around us. Other couples always seem more beautiful and happier than us.

Just try putting in your time and effort into your relationship and it will be exactly where you want it to be.

Please do well to stop by for the second half of this article...
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